Squids in for Comic Relief!

by Jon

March 23, 2017 0

Squids in for Comic Relief!

It’s Red Nose Day on Friday 24 March 2017, so we’ve lined up some of the cheesiest, most fishy jokes and tall tails we can find, and hooked on an 25% off deal for you and donation for Comic Relief so everyone is squids-in!

Get 25% and raise cash for Red Nose Day 2017

Buy any OCEANROCKS item this Red Nose Day  and claim 25% off – just enter REDNOSE in the coupon box at Checkout.   What’s more, we’ll donate another 25% of the proceeds on Red Nose Day 2017 to Comic Relief!  (Usual terms and conditions apply.)

Just squiding!

Dive into these classic jokes in here to impress your friends and relatives…

Why don’t oysters give to charity?…  Because they’re shellfish.

Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?…   All the sailors were marooned.

Did you hear about the fight in the chip shop last night ?…  Three fish got battered!

Did you hear about the crab that went to the seafood disco?…   He pulled a mussell

Two fish in a tank – one says to the other “Can you drive this thing?”

What did the fish say when he posted bail?…   “I’m off the hook!”

Why did the lobster blush?…   Because the sea weed!

Who held the baby octopus to ransom?… Squidnappers!

What do you call a fish with a tie?…  soFISHticated!

How do you make an Octopus laugh?…  With ten-tickles.

How does an octopus go to war?…  Well-armed!

What did the Pacific Ocean say to the Atlantic Ocean?…  Nothing, it just waved.

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?…  A nervous wreck!

Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?…  Because they spend years at C!

Where do shellfish go to borrow money?…  To the prawn broker!

What do you call a big fish who makes you an offer you can’t refuse?…  The Codfather!

Which fish can perform operations?…  A Sturgeon!

What fish goes up the river at 100mph?…  A motor pike!

What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?…  As far away as possible!

Who has eight guns and terrorises the ocean?…  Billy the Squid!

What do you call a fish with no eyes?…  Fsh.

To whom do fish go to borrow money?…  The loan shark!

What was the Tsar of Russia’s favourite fish?… Tsardines!

How do the fish get to school?… By octobus!

What part of a fish weighs the most?…  It’s scales!

You’re welcome.

Not caught you hook, line and sinker? Think you can do better?

Post your own jokes on our Facebook page!

Posted by: Jon

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